Thursday, May 1, 2008

ANTM tries to fulfill my Xena fantasies

America's Next Top Model almost ruined my last relationship. Whenever there was a marathon on, I was glued to screen. I could hear my girlfriend yelling at me from the kitchen, "You love Tyra more than you love me!" No, I didn't. I loved Kim more than her. I just want to be Tyra's best friend. I want to be the Gayle to her Oprah. Call me, Ty-Ty!

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This season is depressingly non-dyketastic. Where are my hot androgynous women? Where are the lesbians? Or at least a hot red-head struggling with her sexuality like a couple seasons back? But last night's episode gave me a little something. The girls dressed up as gladiators for a photo shoot challenge. Oh hell yes! It was like five hot Xena look-alikes! Yes! Thank you, Tyra.

I have a long lasting relationship with Xena. When I was in seventh grade, my mother made me stop watching it and took away my Callisto action figure because it "wasn't lady like." I think she just suspected my secret fantasy of becoming Xena and seducing Callisto away from evil. But she could always stay a little evil...wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, America's Next Top Model.

In the end, Katarzina went home. I'll miss her. She was so beautiful...and I'll admit it, those Eastern Bloc women get me everytime.

Photo Source: CWTV

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL you are too much! You sound just like me.

I haven't seen any gladiator photo shoot myself, is that a fairly new episode?

kris dresen said...

I'm disturbed that your Xena-worshipping behavior was much like mine - except that I was in my, um, thirties. And it was my girlfriend at the time who took my Calisto action figure away.