In the first nightmare, I was trapped in the Rock of Love house as a contestant and no matter how many times I told them I was gay, they wouldn't let me leave. I woke up after Bret Michaels kissed me and I thought I was going to be sick. The second was last night. I was again trapped in the house but this time I couldn't get eliminated. So finally I stole one of his bikes and took off.
After the last dream, I decided to examine why I love and hate Rock of Love.
Why I Love Rock of Love:
1. Frenchy. Seriously, it doesn't get better than Angelique Morgan. The stripper/porn star/reality whore is the greatest thing to happen to television since TiVo.
2. Daisy. One of the final two left on the show, I can't stop looking at her - she looks like a Bratz doll come to life. She seems perpetually confused about where she is. I think she's a groupie who wandered into the house and is too stoned to find the door.
3. Drunken debauchery and cat fights.
4. Bret's motorcycles. If you squint at the television when he's riding them, it looks like a really hot butch riding them. Well, if you squint and take a few shots of whiskey.
Daisy
Why I Hate Rock of Love:
1. Who gives a crap about Bret Michaels? I haven't heard or thought about the band Poison in years.
2. He is responsible for the song "Every Rose Has It's Thorns." For that reason alone, he deserves every sexually transmitted disease he got from Frenchy. I swear to all that is unholy, if I hear one more drunken idiot's off-key kareoke version of that song, I'm going to beat them senseless with the microphone.
Frenchy
No comments:
Post a Comment