Oh please be true!

This may be the greatest thing ever to happen to reality television! Today, a Wikipedia page appeared announcing a new reality show - I Love Money. It will feature rejected contestants from Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Rock of Love competing in physical and mental challenges in an attempt to win $100,000. Below are the announced contestants:

Flavor of Love:
Pumkin (Season 1)
Hoopz (Season 1)
Toasteee (Season 2)
Nibblz (Season 2)
Bootz (Season 2)
Sinceer (Season 3)
Thing 1 (Season 3)
Thing 2 (Season 3)


Sinceer

I Love New York:
Chance (Season 1)
Real (Season 1)
Heat (Season 1)
12 Pack (Season 1)
Whiteboy (Season 1)
The Entertainer (Season 2)
Midget Mac (Season 2)

Rock of Love:
Heather (Season 1)
Brandi C. (Season 1)
Destiney (Season 2)
Megan (Season 2)
Kristy Jo (Season 2)



Heather

This is set to be the trashiest reality show in the history of trashy reality shows! But we still need Frenchy! Someone pull Angelique Morgan off her back and get her on this show! And while we're at it, call Rocky from "I Know My Kid's a Star." You know she and Frenchy will sit around and discuss their plastic surgeries.


Destiney

My black cotton socks quiver with antipaction of the wild drama. Here are some of my predictions:

• Heather will cripple Kristy Joe emotionally before giving her the most vicious beating of her life.
• Someone will attempt "midget tossing."
• The Flavor of Love girls will face off with the Rock of Love girls. Between cat fights, drink throwing contests and who has rocked the back of tour bus more – I can't wait to see the drama.
• Sinceer finally confesses to being part Klingon.

Rock of Love Reunion Rocked my Socks!

The Rock of Love 2 Reunion Show was like reality television candy to my brain!

Frenchy announced she has quit stripping to make club appearances. Well, considering she's selling the contents of panty drawer on ebay, I don't think it's going to be a long lasting retirement. The best was when she mooned Aubry and said, "Kiss my perfect Barbie ass!" Oh my god! The only Barbie Frenchy could be is porn star Barbie with strap-on accessories. But I would still buy it.




A not-so-shocking announcement was Kristy Jo is still married. So she's still with her husband, but what about her lesbian lover Aubry? Aubry described looking at Kristy Jo, "My heart just fell out of my body." But then on the reunion she says they're just platonic friends. Yeah, right.

As the previews promised, there was a fight between Heather and Daisy! My black cotton socks are officially rocked off! Taking all bets - who pulls out whose cheap, blond extensions! They cut to commercial and Daisy was back on set but Bret had escorted Heather out the back. Aww...I was hoping there would at least be some attempted eye gouging with their fake acrylic nails.

Ambre and Bret admited they didn't entirely avoid each other after the show ended as they were supposed to. Apparently, Ambre saw the inside of his tour bus. She said the back stage scene "kinda turned me on." So is she still his Rock of Love? YES! They are both still in love and still together. Aw, there went my hope for seeing Renessa from Work Out on Rock of Love 3.



One sad announcement was Destinee's dad passed away two weeks before the reunion show. He had been diagnosed with liver cancer but it spread to his brain. He had shared a special moment with Bret when Destinee and her parents went on a bike ride to a tattoo parlor. He may have been one of the coolest people to make an appearance on the show. To make a donation in his honor, click here.



Photo Sources: VH1

Frenchy is looking for work

Frenchy, the reality whore from Rock of Love 2, also known as stripper/porn star Angelique Morgan is looking for a gig.

She posted this message on her Myspace page today, "I've been really busy, if you want to book me for hosting event and appearances, please, leave me a comment below and I will b back to you ASAP. Thanks! God bless!"



I wonder how much she costs by the hour? I'm actually considering trying to hire her for my next birthday party. It may be the only way I can guarantee someone else will get drunk and behave worse than me.

Not content with her appearance gigs, Frenchy is selling herself on ebay. If you visit her ebay store you can bid for some of her used lingerie (I shudder to imagine what kind of bodily fluids she left in there). Her prices start at $199 or you can buy it now for $225. Really? The lingerie isn't worth that much. Touching her butt does not make things appreciate value, it makes them depreciate.

Click here to see what she's selling.

Photo Source: Frenchy's Myspace Page

Was Rock of Love Dyketastic?

Bret Michaels has chosen Ambre as his Rock of Love. He totally made the right call. Ambre seems like she has it together, at least more so than Daisy. She's one stripper pole and two tequila shots away from an amatuer porn career. Although, a grainy sex tape might revitalize Bret Michaels' career. It's not like he's ever going to have a hit single again.

My favorite line of the episode was Ambre talking about Daisy. She said, "Surgery can make me hotter but surgery is not going to make her smarter." Hilarious! I'm pretty sure the major surgery Daisy had was having a nozzle attached. That way she can be inflated for television appearances and be deflated again for easy storage.



I don't care so much about the finale though. I just can't wait for the reunion episode for several reasons. I've been watching the previews and it looks like Heather is going to beat the crap out of Daisy! Oh hell yes! My black cotton socks quiver in anticipation. Also, I can't wait to see Frenchy again. My life has been incomplete without the Eurotrash that is Angelique Morgan. But the final reason I can't wait for the reunion show - lesbian drama! That's right, a special insinuated that there was a little girl-on-girl action going on right under Bret's nose. It seems Kristy Jo and Aubry were more interested in each other than in winning Bret's heart. Oh really now?


You know she's screaming, "Kristy Joooooooo!"

Photo Source: VH1.com

I watched Rock of Love...and now I'm gay

I have an unhealthy obsession with the show Rock of Love. It's so wonderfully tacky. But it's a love/hate relationship. So much so I have had two nightmares about it.

In the first nightmare, I was trapped in the Rock of Love house as a contestant and no matter how many times I told them I was gay, they wouldn't let me leave. I woke up after Bret Michaels kissed me and I thought I was going to be sick. The second was last night. I was again trapped in the house but this time I couldn't get eliminated. So finally I stole one of his bikes and took off.

After the last dream, I decided to examine why I love and hate Rock of Love.

Why I Love Rock of Love:
1. Frenchy. Seriously, it doesn't get better than Angelique Morgan. The stripper/porn star/reality whore is the greatest thing to happen to television since TiVo.
2. Daisy. One of the final two left on the show, I can't stop looking at her - she looks like a Bratz doll come to life. She seems perpetually confused about where she is. I think she's a groupie who wandered into the house and is too stoned to find the door.
3. Drunken debauchery and cat fights.
4. Bret's motorcycles. If you squint at the television when he's riding them, it looks like a really hot butch riding them. Well, if you squint and take a few shots of whiskey.


Daisy

Why I Hate Rock of Love:
1. Who gives a crap about Bret Michaels? I haven't heard or thought about the band Poison in years.
2. He is responsible for the song "Every Rose Has It's Thorns." For that reason alone, he deserves every sexually transmitted disease he got from Frenchy. I swear to all that is unholy, if I hear one more drunken idiot's off-key kareoke version of that song, I'm going to beat them senseless with the microphone.


Frenchy