When I worked at a coffee shop and it was a slow day, my friend Eric and I would go through the Chicago Reader matches section and read all the personals. Then we would match up our co-workers with people we thought would be their perfect match...and occasionally our perfect revenge for when they failed to properly label the food after taking it out of the freezer. That's right, you! I still remember those wasted cinnamon rolls!
Anyway, I left that job a long time ago but I still love going through the Chicago Reader. More than once I have stumbled across a personal ad placed by someone I know. That's always a hilarious find. So being the kind, sensitive, and discreet person I am, I clip it and put it on my fridge door. As I was reading the matches today, I thought I should share with you all my list of do's and don'ts for placing a personal ad in the paper:
- Do spell check. I can tell you right now, anyone who can not correctly spell 50 words will never get a phone call from me.
- Do not use any variations of the phrases "more cushion for the pushin'" or "more to hold on to." If you are slightly overweight or chubby like me, use phrases like curvy or voluptious.
- I swear to all that is unholy, if you are one of the people that include trite lyrics from a Morissey song that "changed your life," just go sit in a dark room and cry. If you have to use someone else's words to describe yourself, then you should probably be placing a personal ad in the "Self-Awareness Weekly" and not the Chicago Reader.
- Do not say you have a great personality. I'm sure you do, but saying so is like a personals ad code word for so-ugly-even-Gary-Coleman-wouldn't-touch-me.
1 comment:
rofl.... ok, notes and points all taken.
and i used ur comic recommendations
thanks v much :))
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